Reflections of Big Sur

Now the fog is burning away and with it the worries. Bars of sunlight puncture the clouds. The ocean appears again, down steep cliffs, with diaphanous wisps of white vapor foam. I study the shore and the coastal stone monoliths of Big Sur and feel a pull deep inside me. Visions from distant memories come flooding back and I know I have visited here before, this place like in dreams, and with my family sleeping soundly, away in their own lands, and me just driving with a thrumming tickly feeling in my guts and heaven all around and the sea and the sea cliffs and the world wide sun god radiant jubilation everywhere; I recall, in fragments, little moments of my life: laughter, singing, dancing, crying, fighting, loving, giving and forgiving and no one can say if it’s right or wrong, not gods not men and the shadows creep back into the deep forest of the redwood giants going where shadows go when they can’t hold their breath any longer…it’s right here, man; it’s not any place else but right here, the big man on the radio says and I pull the car off the road in a little gravel turn-out, lock the doors with no one even stirring; running now, down the embankment, across the rubbery flower vines in the sand, and the orange flowers and the blue flowers crunching under my shoes, running as hard as I can, the ocean with its resplendent astral fabric and shore birds dipping and sand birds scattering and this is exactly a place I have visited before in a causal world of my own creation and as I run, for a moment I am not sure if I really am alive or if I have died and am now running in heaven, free, sublimely free, and filled with love, baby, big love and big freedom, and I am a voyager, a spark of energy in the cerulean landscape of subatomic dynamos, just merging, ever merging, with the space-time-wonder-love-bliss, the whoosh and roar of God out there past the breakers, me running madly skipping with childlike idiot laughter and my lungs alive with the salty refreshing sea-mist explosion of light...I had arrived.